Memes and the Greek Far Right

Do not misunderstand me. I will be talking about nazis. I do not use the term "far right" out of embarrassment. I only use it to refer to a group that includes but is not limited to the obvious, unevolved skinhead.
In greece there is a rather wide spectrum of douchebags. By douchebags I mean right wing scumfucks. Let us find out more about them and their recent weird relationship to internet memes.

I will start randomly and move in no particular order. First there is LAOS (Laikos Orthodoxos Synagermos which can be loosely translated as Popular Orthodox Alarm and yes it is as stupid as it sounds). They are a populist fascist party. They do not present themselves as full blown nazis mainly because that would not serve their purpose but rest assured they are about as fascist as you can get without shaving your head and tattooing a huge swastika on it. Recently, I read this article in one of the greek blogs I enjoy. It showed this:

It is a sticker on a non-descript surface by the youth branch of the party. It features Success Kid with its shirt in a different colour to match the party's. I wont bother translating the shit they say because it is fascist propaganda but notice the "muslim mob" at the back. That should convince everyone what they are about. I will not comment yet. There is more.

Next there is Nea Dimokratia (New Democracy), a neoliberal conservative party with a much longer history than the rest of the scumfucks presented here. However, I am semi-cheating here. The fuckwit I will be presenting has only recently moved to this party from the one mentioned above. Rest assured though he is a fascist piece of shit just like the rest of them. He also proves that the two parties, even though presented differently, cater to the same idiots. Without further ado:

Yah! It is Islamic Rage Boy. As you can imagine he says and believes shitty things about immigrants and I wont soil this place with it. Total fucking shitstain. I will not comment yet. But here are some close ups of him:

And another one:

And yet another one:

These are not momentary derps by the way. That's how he looks (and thinks) all the time.

And then there are my favourites. Chrysi Avgi or Golden Dawn. They are about as nazi as can fit in a shitbag. And then a little more. They are thick, ugly, unevolved and pretty much fucking evil. They deserve to die horribly in a fire and hopefully they will. But hark! Do I hear the sound of fucking nazis being dumb as shit? Why yes! Yes I do. First, people mistakenly thought that this meme was an actual member of this neonazi party:

Which is understandable because they actually look like this. No, they really do. OK fine, here you go:

See? I told you. Nazis are idiots and they look it.
And then this happens:

Ring a bell? I swear to fuck. They are not even trying to avoid ridicule. That's another nazi in the nazi party by the way. Notice the detail behind him. It is a nazi grenade, may it be live and explode in his face.

So now it is time to comment. There is an underlying theme here and it is not conservative stupidity. That is self-evident. I mean look at them. Do I have to try and prove that they are morons? They are also pretty obviously ugly but not in an aesthetic way. More in an unevolved kind of way. The same way that most of us would find pond scum unattractive.

No. The underlying theme here is that these people are as absurd and idiotic and detachedly funny as some of the most successful memes on the internet. This is so true that nobody is actually trying to do this to them. They are doing it all by themselves. Accidentally. They cannot hide the stupid.

Pigs in Blankets

That’s what Doug Stanhope called the imaginary charity gig he did for police officers fallen in the line of duty. That opener should have got rid of the cop sympathisers among you and for those of you reading still on the fence here’s another one, more succinct and one that leaves no doubt about where I stand on the issue of police. I shit on the grave of fallen police officers.

But seriously, let’s analyse this lest we make ourselves look as dumb as the pigs. The first and extremely common argument about cops, living or dead, is that they are people like us. Ha! I say to thee. Let’s just find out. I’m not going to quote the numbers that show the grief and malignancy caused by cops, oh no, because you can argue numbers. In fact, I’m not going to refer to anything you can argue about. Instead, I will talk about things that no matter how good a debater you might think you are (even a master debater, heh) you will have to accept as general truths or otherwise reveal what an idiot you are. So without further ado, what makes us human?

The common things among all people are our fundamental human needs. These, according to the school of "Human Scale Development" developed by Manfred Max-Neef and others (Antonio Elizalde and Martin Hopenhayn), are seen as stemming from the condition of being human. They are subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity and freedom. For the time being we can ignore subsistence, protection and understanding, not because they’re not important or for any silly reason like that but because they’re not really unique to us humans. Animals fulfill these needs every day so I don’t think we can use them as something that makes us stand out as humans. The same is probably true of affection but I chose to leave that in, if only slightly facetiously, in order to poke further fun at the argument that “cops are people just like us”. So let’s pick at each of them one by one.

Oh look, the first one is affection. Do I really need to analyse that? Is there anywhere on this planet where cops are known for how sweet and cuddly they are? No, I didn’t think so. They might have a deep need for affection that they hide very, very well but it is most definitely something that does not go well at all with their role and it is probably stamped on early on, either at a young age in their family or later on in their training or maybe even both.

Next up is participation. This may appear to be somehow fulfilled by the illusion of police being an integral part of society but nothing is further from the truth. Cops are elitists. They are their own special little boys’ club. More importantly though they exist because society is elitist and it wants to stay that way. The haves are protected from the have-nots and those higher up on the hierarchy need someone to do their dirty work and manage the chaos created by those lower down. For all intents and purposes, there is no organisation more segregationist than the police. And that is most likely true on an individual level. We’ve all seen and heard of “corrupt” cops but when was the last time you heard of a cop fighting for the rights of immigrants, or women, or children, or animals? Even if by some miracle you did find some, they would only highlight their rarity. The only thing cops are interested in participating in is the police and its purpose.

To show you that I am not prejudiced however, I will give them leisure. Although I don’t believe that one is limited to humans either, it is I feel a connecting point among absolutely all humans. Everyone, absolutely everyone, wants a break once and a while no matter how much fun they’re having with a task. Not even machines can run forever.

Creation. This is my favourite. I’m going to let you do the thinking for this one though because I feel it illustrates my point perfectly. What is it that cops create? What do they make? No, really, think about it. That’s right, absolutely fucking nothing. They are a bunch of bloodsucking parasites.

As far as identity goes, please no more, this is too much. The police, as much as any other kind of army, wants you to be a number not a person. They want individuality set aside and they want each cop to work like a well-oiled cog in the machine of state-sponsored repression. There is no identity in the police, you are whatever your commanding officer tells you you are. If cops need to find an identity then they’re looking in the wrong place.

And last but not least, freedom. I don’t know how to talk about this one without laughing. Seriously, I need to argue about this one too? Get the fuck out. Police for freedom would really be like fucking for virginity.

So that’s one stupid argument down, about a million more to go. Let’s take a break now, fulfill our need of leisure, possibly the only thing that we and the pigs have in common and we’ll come back with even more cop-apologist bashing.

Vikernes Rides the Media

Christian "Varg" Vikernes has been released. I don't know what to make of that. He is a great musician or at least was. But he still remains a royal fuckhead.

In case you didn't know, he was in one of the most influential bands in metal, Mayhem. That is until he killed the frontman. Killed him dead. Very dead. Like, 23 times dead. With a knife. Anyway, he's out now, after fuck knows how many failed escape attempts. And I still don't know what to make of that. There's an interesting documentary though about his trial and how norwegian media sucks ass in pretty much the usual way media sucks ass everywhere else. It's called Satan Rides the Media (like the dirty little whore it is), look for it.