The Unbearable Curse of Being an Autocondimentor (or how to betray yourself by expecting too little)

-Can I have a ticket please?
-Single or return?
-Single please, I'm not coming back.
-Are you running away from something?
-Yes, myself.
-I beg your pardon?
-Well you can't have it.
-Sorry?
-You will be.
-Are you crazy or are you high?
-Both. Now drive, ignorant slave drone!!!